So I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months on Friday. It doesn't seem like a long time right? Hmm, well it felt like it to me. I know it was me that ended it but...
My feelings are just all over the place. Music doesn't help, looking on his Facebook and knowing he's looking at mine doesn't help. The fact that it was a long distance relationship helps a little.
But the worst thing is knowing you both still love each other but there's barriers you cannot move past, things that would never change. There's things between us that will always remain ingrained in my memories, but sometimes it's better to let things go? I don't know...
There are so many questions and pleading to make the pain stop won't work. There is no quick, simple fix. It's permanent anguish and lonely feelings, memories cropping up when you don't want them to, even just little words that remind you.
I have no illusions of what's next or any quick remedies.
The truth is love hurts. There's no quick cure, no instant redemption. It's a rough journey, but I hold out hope that it's worth staying the course. If it's out there, I'll find it.
Meanwhile it's sad angry songs, tears being held back through the good times and smiling even though I'm dying inside. All for the cause of saying "We're still friends because I just can't have you out of my life." Because this can work right... Right?
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